I suppose perhaps I’ve become an Ann Arbor liberal. Which admission may, in some circles, be akin to coming out of the closet if you’re gay. This evening, after a lovely walk in Nichols Arboretum, Karen and I went to eat our supper at Noodles & Co. on State Street. We decided in a moment of sheer folly to tempt the weather by eating our noodle dishes out on the available streetside dining. This was a nice idea for all of about 30 seconds.
The Baptists with Bullhorns had set up camp *directly* across the street and started gettin’ their collective freak on. Which is really something to see for a bunch of overweight, overdressed, mostly past middle age pasty white guys.
The Baptists with Bullhorns began gettin’ their freak on with a nice set of lovely hymns, which to their great credit, were very nicely sung.
While they sang, they had some clearly bewildered, sure to be scarred for life pre-teen boy anchoring a giant sign with various and sundry accusations plastered thereon. Once the hymns were done, there were a few moments of relative silence, punctuated by various forms of traffic and other street noise, during which I allowed myself the fantasy that perhaps that would be the end of things, and they would kindly pack up their freak and get the freak out of Ann Arbor.
However, such was not to be our lot this night.
I had allowed myself to become so absorbed in my fantasy that the squeal of a poorly handled bullhorn shocked me out of my reverie, which had been for a few precious moments, delight in my Thai Noodle Soup.
As it happens, Daddy (or one of Daddy’s friends) had climbed up onto a planter and begun to ready himself for really gettin’ down with his freak.
Please don’t get me wrong. I actually think that there is probably a time and a place and a proper attitude for street preaching. Call me crazy, that’s ok. These fellers, however, had missed the mark on all counts.
Humility? Absent.
Kindness? Absent.
Evidence of love and care? Absent.
All manner of unjust Accusations? Present. And then some.
It seemed to me that these men were more about being able to boast to their religious friends how they were “really livin’ the gospel, brother”, ‘cuz they were out in the trenches, preachin’ on the street in that haven for sinners, Ann Arbor. You know, that town full of filthy liberals, licentious behavior and sodomites!
For heaven’s sake, the man said that the people down in the cancer ward in the UM hospital were there because of the sin of smoking. (!) Gee whiz man!
He really got whipped up into a frenzy when a couple of gay guys started making out in front of him. He bellowed in his anger and self-righteous apoplectic rage, “God does NOT accept you as YOU are!” Now he’s really got some stories to tell about being down in the trenches, fightin’ the good fight, dontcha know.
It’s a wonder I was able to keep my supper down, I was so upset. I wanted to go up to the man, rip off his bullhorn and throw it onto the roof of Michigan Book and Supply. I wanted to whisper in his ear, “do you have ANY IDEA how much damage you and your little friends are doing? Do you know how long I’ve worked here, forged complex relationships, done practical acts of kindness in love here? And you want to come in here, preaching your peculiar brand of un-Biblical hate so you can have stories to tell your friends? Because, listen pal, you are winning no converts here tonight.”
But I did not do that. Or any of the other multitude of aggressions that came into my head during that time. Perhaps that’s cowardice on my part. Perhaps, if I am gracious with myself, it was turning the other cheek, as Jesus would have wanted.
So.
From those of us who are of like mind, to you in Ann Arbor who have been subjected to this, I apologize, really and truly.
May the end of fundamentalism be near!
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